I no longer know what the goal of the site is, I write horror fiction, and love letters to myself.

This site is a tool to facilitate the act of seeing clearly, written by hands that used to hurt myself.

Explanation: I am Damien, I speak to my split personality Amanda. I am two people in love with each other, and I am okay with that now.

I have paranoid schizophrenia, narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar II-manic/depressive- rapid cycling, depression, anxiety, hydrocepholus, narcissistic personality disorder suffering from alcoholism, drug addiction, alcoholic. with OCD and PTSD- was addicted to heroin, meth, crack, alcohol, cocaine, prescription pills.

I am drug addict/alcoholic/dual diagnosis/ex-homeless person.

Characters thus far



Damien de Soto

Rei Clearly


First person

Blog post style

Dark horror fiction

Through dark horror fiction I rake the muck of the lives of street addicts.

Or in plain English this is an epic poem/novel about addiction told about low bottom addicts in horror style.

Virgin to Heart Break

Sometimes, in foolishness I regress back to times, when I danced alongside someone who was so selfish that they were able to steal enough joy from everyone around them to share it with me. I did not realize at the time that this is what we were doing. I was foolish, and spellbound by this creature who like a sprite danced through life with glitter flying off his arms in drops that at the time looked like sparkles but were really coins covered in blood of his enemies and captivated souls. He sought to gain nothing but intoxication, so he was at first intoxicated by the consuming of me. I was new, and I heaped on him mountains of praise for the ways that we spent days in a perpetual haze in a drug induced craze for each other.

But also for the ever crying call of the best and most intoxicating thing.




Feed me. whore.

My misery sat.

And ate.

More more.

Feed me whore.

Feed me more.

I am your disease

I am pleased to seize your

Knees and make you bend

And sway till I get my way.

One response to “Virgin to Heart Break”

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