Burning books

https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2023/03/13/what-do-you-see-177-13-march-2023/

Where they burn books, they will, in the end, burn human beings too.

 Heinrich Heine, Almansor

I was writing a book, by myself, and my ex got involved in it and made it about us, like everything had to be, about us.

She was writing a different story, an allegory, a sermon, a plot device, for a human being, to be controlled like a character in a story, because she knows the obsession I have with words, and wanted to stick a pen in my eye, so I could no longer see without her help, then bound to her I would not be able to leave.

I am writing a book of my own, about something, although I do not know what it is anymore, because I no longer have any idea what life is anymore, so I need to figure that out first.

I have been burning books my whole life. I have had 3 copies of the book from the meetings that I go to, and I have burned all but two of them. I have burned The Bible, because I thought God would stop yelling at me if I burned His book.

I have burned every single book I have ever written, I have written like five of them. I put this on the internet so I couldn’t burn it.

I could light my computer on fire, but it doesn’t belong to me so I guess that is what has save this one. I am done burning books, I no longer need them for kindling, because I am no longer a homeless addict, running around the streets doing drugs and drinking. I would not burn the first half of this one, that she wrote with me, because as much as it pains me to say so, I still love her, she is just flawed and toxic for me.

I am going to start reading books instead of burning them. Maybe then and only then will I know what all this means.

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