The goal of this site is simple, to find kindness in the world, and establish connection through the act of clarity that comes with meditating on human connection and sobriety, peace, joy, and serenity.

This site is a tool to facilitate the act of seeing clearly, written by hands that used to serve misery.

Thank you, your compliment and reading this means the world to me, for explanation I have paranoid schizophrenia, narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar II-manic/depressive rapid cycling, depression, anxiety, hydrocepholus, narcissistic personality disorder suffering from alcoholism, drug addiction, alcoholic. with OCD and PTSD- was addicted to heroin, meth, crack, alcohol, cocaine, prescription pills. I am drug addict/alcoholic/dual diagnosis/ex-criminal/ex-homeless vagrant who is writing instead of committing crime on the street corners of this country or the voice of the drug epidemic screaming on here instead of tweaking and shooting heroin on a corner while holding a sign and waiting for my man.

Characters thus far



Damien de Soto

Rei Clearly

All characters are me, or my pen names, or my imaginary friends, or my split personalities, dramatized fictionalized, scape goats, captive in my mind.

****! On ducks not ducking, unruffled feathers, and I don’t have to leave

Explanation: Shocking, I am trusted to not have to leave, if there is no one here to watch me…

Now this…

Pond, not Stream of Chaos

I am a duck, apparently, because unknowingly

I have been teaching myself to be less


Like that, so now I can be alone, and not have people

Worry about me, which is


Because it also makes me trust me


I used to be constantly floating from place to place,

In a race with the human race to consume my tomb in the form of drugs and doom and alcohol which I would viciously consume, in doomed ferocious style, in front of all I know

sowing shame and guilt while also showing pain and guilt through vicious attack on self but also on others eyes, making people cry without knowing why because I am selfish. I am becoming not

I think… I guess.. don’t know…


I am a duck in a pond, that is just okay enough with me for now, to not drown

I am not going down

Because I don’t want to

Un-spun I am no longer undone.

I am glad to be trusted, un-dusted, still rusted, but dusting off.


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