I no longer know what the goal of the site is, I write horror fiction, and love letters to myself.

This site is a tool to facilitate the act of seeing clearly, written by hands that used to hurt myself.

Explanation: I am Damien, I speak to my split personality Amanda. I am two people in love with each other, and I am okay with that now.

I have paranoid schizophrenia, narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar II-manic/depressive- rapid cycling, depression, anxiety, hydrocepholus, narcissistic personality disorder suffering from alcoholism, drug addiction, alcoholic. with OCD and PTSD- was addicted to heroin, meth, crack, alcohol, cocaine, prescription pills.

I am drug addict/alcoholic/dual diagnosis/ex-homeless person.

Characters thus far



Damien de Soto

Rei Clearly


First person

Blog post style

Dark horror fiction

Through dark horror fiction I rake the muck of the lives of street addicts.

Or in plain English this is an epic poem/novel about addiction told about low bottom addicts in horror style.

Elated with relation to the intoxication of wings of dove from above

I find myself

Staring up at the sky a lot now, realizing how much time

I spent

Looking down

Meditating on ground and sensations of going down

Underneath the dirt and bugs, and now with embrace from the master of all space and time I am free to migrate up, and drink from cups of water again, and have friends and hands that are not my own, because I am free to own nothing and everything at once, in a state of sharing an existence in stance with a oneness that I do not even understand because I am not supposed to because I am one of many, and we are all one of one.

I love all of you.




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