I no longer know what the goal of the site is, I write horror fiction, and love letters to myself.

This site is a tool to facilitate the act of seeing clearly, written by hands that used to hurt myself.

Explanation: I am Damien, I speak to my split personality Amanda. I am two people in love with each other, and I am okay with that now.

I have paranoid schizophrenia, narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar II-manic/depressive- rapid cycling, depression, anxiety, hydrocepholus, narcissistic personality disorder suffering from alcoholism, drug addiction, alcoholic. with OCD and PTSD- was addicted to heroin, meth, crack, alcohol, cocaine, prescription pills.

I am drug addict/alcoholic/dual diagnosis/ex-homeless person.

Characters thus far



Damien de Soto

Rei Clearly


First person

Blog post style

Dark horror fiction

Through dark horror fiction I rake the muck of the lives of street addicts.

Or in plain English this is an epic poem/novel about addiction told about low bottom addicts in horror style.

That something beyond my understanding loves me, and talks to me

What was the best compliment you’ve received?

I have been arrogant my whole life, and not willing to listen. The point of this post is to say, my eyes were shut before, I was being told to see, and shutting my eyes, or blurring them with substances. I am opening my eyes now because something gave me the biggest compliment in the world, something beyond my understanding is speaking to me, not because I am important, but simply because I am talking back and willing to listen. I am willing to listen in the same way anyone can be. I am not special, I am not unique, just willing to listen now, and it is responsible for any good that comes from me, and I should have known that but I was prideful, and wrong.

I am trying to be open to it now, and see clearly how wrong I was, and how much higher it is than I ever was, because it is above me in the understanding of everything. It is responsible for everything.


2 responses to “That something beyond my understanding loves me, and talks to me”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: