“If it’s not yours then why is it in your wallet?”, he says to me, and I know she got me, she is in the bathroom dying from doing both our shots, even though I told her she couldn’t handle it… she got mad, thinking I was being selfish.. she spent all our cash meant to get out of Houston on drugs… and I am being selfish… because I have a warrant here, for punching a cop while drunk..

I won’t admit to it being yours, because now if they give it back, it is mine, and I am not a snitch, I don’t give **** about going to jail. I ask for my wallet and say it has medication in it, that I am having a panic attack and need my meds. The ****ing cop gives it to me, and I look him in eye, and spit at him, run to the bathroom after grabbing my wallet he drops when I punch him, he doesn’t have a body cam on him.

He tells me I am going to prison. I bash my head in the wall, and tell him his cam isn’t on, ****er forgot to it on.

I throw up from the force of the blow to head, all over my legs.

Three cops show up as back-up.

They cuff me. I struggle, and get a resisting arrest charge as well as slammed into the cop car so hard it dislocates my shoulder.

They don’t care.

I’ll be out of jail in 3 days.

She/he will have this on his conscience forever.

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The mist ascends over the river in the dark light absent night of a missing moon, that is not missed, simply missing, a vacant blankness with no space indicated that marks its blankness, no spot where a moon would even be, a blank canvas of lack of light.

I am standing staring out over the water, knowing only that there is even water there, because I am familiar with the place I am. Other than my presence of mind and awareness of where I am placed in time, there is no indicating factors that would suggest that I am anywhere at all, the night is black and I see nothing in front of me, and nothing below me.

I stare forward into the nothingness, keeping my presence of mind, by meditating on the painful cold that pounds in my skin, the rain is falling down on my hands and arms now, I say it that way.. because they are bare, I can’t feel it touch the rest of me.

I look out over the water, the only thing letting me know there is any separation between me and any of this, any perceiving instead of being oneness, is the fact that I remember being a being that sees.

There are slight beings of light on the water now, they dance in the nothing, looking like shadows, which is strange, because there is nothing to cast shadow on, they are dark, as dark as shadow and reflecting to my eyes or to my knowing, not sure which, and they speak to me, somehow I know them, I know their pain. They pace across the water saying nothing, and I can feel their pain, and then, it all fades, a light comes on, and I look up at a street light, there must have been a power outage.

A man is sitting on a bench alone, he asks me how long I have been there, says he didn’t know there was someone else watching, like him, the dancing on the water. I tell him I don’t know, and we leave it at that. He walks away.