I no longer know what the goal of the site is, I write horror fiction, and love letters to myself.
This site is a tool to facilitate the act of seeing clearly, written by hands that used to hurt myself.
Explanation: I am Damien, I speak to my split personality Amanda. I am two people in love with each other, and I am okay with that now.
I have paranoid schizophrenia, narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar II-manic/depressive- rapid cycling, depression, anxiety, hydrocepholus, narcissistic personality disorder suffering from alcoholism, drug addiction, alcoholic. with OCD and PTSD- was addicted to heroin, meth, crack, alcohol, cocaine, prescription pills.
I am drug addict/alcoholic/dual diagnosis/ex-homeless person.
Through dark horror fiction I rake the muck of the lives of street addicts.
Or in plain English this is an epic poem/novel about addiction told about low bottom addicts in horror style.
Tag: afraid of the dark
The sun is down, so I am alone again, alone with me, and my best friend, myself, me, and I, so I think about things that make me cry, and afraid of the dark, things I saw while awake, that make me afraid to shut my eyes.
I used to stay up to watch my back, while outside, where animals could attack, and now although I am inside, I am awake still, with eyes that cannot shut, because they look back, and see the woods, glowing with lack of light, and things that bite, I am afraid, in fear I stay, and sleep it does, keep away.
That is why I am glad, of me there are two, because I would die, if not without you.
Thank you, sweetheart, for being there.
Thank you too, I am afraid of the dark too.
Look at me, look at me.
No, I am serious, I do not know how to use a new computer really.
I call all streaming services, the streaming. I have been under a rock for 15 years.
I accidentally set the background to this woman who looks like she is looking at me with this crazy smiling face, which is basically just a normal happy face, I am assuming, but for a lunatic, it looks like she is smiling at me in this eerie way that says I hate you and know you are thinking about whiskey.
I used to have this hate for this one cat, that poops in the bedroom I sleep in, that is not mine, so I had no right to be mad at the cat, but I used to think he was doing it to me or at me, because I am ****ing insane and everything is at me or to me.
I now remember something hilarious.
I have vomitted in almost every state in the US, in front of people in broad day light, when I was homeless we used the whole world as our toilet because we did not have inside bathrooms.
I am literally this cat, and have metaphorically done what he is doing, I just have to clean it up because I am metaphorically cleaning up the bed I made.
I hate television. I hate it. I don’t hate movies, I hate television. I like watching a movie and then turning the **** thing off, because I can’t hear anything with it on, which is why I think I have been fighting with Diane, she loves TV. She gets mad at me for talking to myself or talking over the TV or commenting on things she is watching, which is just talking to myself while she is watching, which I don’t realize she is doing, because when I am talking to myself, I am alone in my own world, that happens to overlap with the world because I have a human body, and am not just a drifting mind in space, which I think I am when I am doing this.
That is why I spend all my time in her basement.
Which annoys her, but what am I supposed to do, I have no self control, so I hid down here, where I can’t cause a problem.
There is an eye in the sky and it is up so high, that I can’t reach it, can’t poke it
Can’t kiss it or stroke it…
Stupid jerk who strokes an eye?
I stroke an I.
Your gross, you stroke yourself?
Yeah, loser, you are doing it right now.
EGO EGO EGO EGO I go I go I go I go
ANSWER ME: Okay, here, I am very superstitious. I come from a long line of a family, who believes in
the evil eye
manifesting their own destiny through thought
being able to manifest it through speaking it out loud
being able to manifest it through thinking it
the power of positive thinking
the power of negative thinking
making lists that make things go away
incantations that make things go away
incantations that are positive self talk
the power of the number 10
This goes up to 11
I like even numbers.
I missed you, and me and this, and you having a life and not whining about everything.
I believe in manifestation of human life that is not real, I believe in the power of words to cast spells that I feel, will make things happen for me, at least in my head it feels that way, but who knows you know what they say
YOU’RE INSANE AND TO BLAME FOR ALL THE BODIES AT YOUR FEET, WASN’T IT FUN PLAYING WITH SOWING NEEDLES WITH DEAD CHILDREN ON THE STREET
If I talk to you on here, it looks like a superstitious allegory or me being silly and not what it is
or YOU’RE INSANE YOU’R INSANE YOU’RE INSANE and it is ****ed to be your own best friend.
Is it though do you see the voices I talk to?
YOU TALK TO YOURSELF
OoO that was a sick burn, and you know what sometimes, superstitions are justified, peace MF.