I am only here because I am not, I am fear saved only by someone else keeping me alive. I am two souls in one body, and one is half-dead.

Mouth full, mouth full, choking on noise, I like hate read through play play play with…

I am going to punch you in the face.

The sweet embrace of erase, is the solution to all missing space, and all that matters not, I like fear when it runs through paths that are wrought with fear and choas ascending, I like deer with feet that are trending towards running into cars,

Cars. cars. cars.

What is mine, is really ours.

I am not.

You seem better, face so…

If you say it I will poke you in the eye.

That sounds fun, so will I.

Sounds like blindness, oh see clearly.

I hate you so very much.

I loooooovveee… you, but mostly us. us. us.

I am the fear of stay. I am the thought of lack of… pay.

I have to pay you to stay in your own brain? I like it.

Does it ever feel like you are forgetting which one is talking?

That is because I am winning.

I am self-hatred, read so so clearly.

I am talking, but really not, I am hate read in pain so hot.

I am a condescending self-defending ***hole, who just got tired of this, you lose, to bad, so sad, I am mad, glad, bad,

Going away now…

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I thought it was 10 am, guess my internal clock is off now, oops. Um… huh.. okay, I think is because of the whole root canal thing, which I think I have to get the rest of the thing done tomorrow, or I have something tomorrow? I am not quite sure… I am really confused… really thought it was 10 am… this is weird..

Um….. wtf….

be back soon.. maybe? I have to figure out what my internal clock wants to do now. WEIRD…………….

I am well enough to be left to my own devices, and you can leave me be, without having to try to bend me, and shape me to your vices, your desires to mold the world to your sacrifices, which are not mine, are not divine and are in line with high prices, not willing to be paid by me, to your idea of

Divinity, and your desire to incrementally ram down my throat, ideas that make me choke

Is the reason why I use to toke, smoke, and inject pain in vain in soul devastating reign of pain.

I have had it with you too. I hate everything you do too. I wish you would stop too.

The difference is, I am not saying this. I am not doing anything to you.

I am just being me, and being free, and trying to be.

Simply. Truthfully.

Free of you and everything you do.

To mold me to be you.

I am finally coming to a place in my head, where I realize that I am not going to continue the very toxic behavior I have continued my whole life, the bounce back and forth between love and hate the universe, my fault their fault thing. I am accountable for my actions yes, but I am finally coming to a place where I can say, if you don’t like me get away from me, very freely, and without negativity or resentment. I am doing what it is best for me, my feelings are all very real, I am just insane so I am prone to astral projecting the future.

Okay now that I got that out of the way.

I think I am going to start trying to figuring out what to do with the rest of my life. I am not sure what that even means, I like the writing again, I used to do this as a child, but fell off the face of the earth when it comes to doing anything productive for 15 years. I am trying to get my life to a place where I can take care of my own needs without having to commit crimes to eat and pay for a place to live, like I said before all very real, this is all actually happening, this is where both me and Amanda are, I am just where she wants to be people wise. I am how she sees herself later with who she sees herself later with.

Damien