I am good at falling down, not good at getting up.

I hate this right now, I am having a really hard time.

I have a dental appointment tomorrow, and am just worried about having a ride there, because I am not the ride there, which is my fault for having ruined my own life, and being dependant on others, but it is driving me crazy. I don’t think other people are out to get me right now, but I have such a hard time with having to be dependant on the circumstances of other people.

I am an idiot, this blows…

I am so good at living in darkness, so bad at living in light.

I think I drag myself into darkness, because of my love of the act of perpetual fight.

I am an addict of suffering, addicted to my own pain.

I hate myself sometimes for having put myself in this position, I just want to be in control of my own life again, and not have to worry about how things are going to happen, which I should not be doing anyway.

I just wish I hadn’t put myself in this position, it is very difficult, and what I was running from the entire time.

I was trying so hard to get to a place where I was in control of my own life… I literally tried every possible thing…… I just wish I knew what was going to happen… I hate this…

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I am a moron.

Bam.

Damien.

I feel better? I don’t know what it is about that kind of thing….

I posted this response to this prompt and I feel weird about it, because I am an idiot…

I was all over here talking about murder forever, and now I feel bad about it.

I don’t know what my deal is anymore. I am a wuss….

daily prompt-1856

I don’t have time, because I have a lot to do, well not a lot but just more than you. What I mean to say is this, when you give me instruction or list, it is not a resolved desire to not listen or aspire to do anything you say, it is just simply the way I am because try as much as I can, I don’t really care, unless you decide to be not there, because no one ever told me that I am so very lonely because I am an asshole. I never listened in class, no I had too much to do,

I don’t give a shit about you. I only cared about me, and wanted to be free from everything you say to do. I put this in past tense but it is present to, in everything I do. I rush through everything, because I want, endlessly it haunts. I demand in everything I say, hurry up and go away, you are annoying me you see, I want to be free. I want to consume and take everything you make, but give nothing back, it is my own soul I attack. I am lack of compassion that exists in hidden fashion ever clashing with presentation of polite conversation. I don’t know what to say, it doesn’t make sense, go away,

Don’t touch me, don’t you see, you’re boring because

I am really afraid you will hurt me.