I need to live alone, the results of this oscillation are dizzying. I am not, nor have I ever been good at the whole living with people thing, it goes well at first and then they realize what I am like and try to HELP, or cure parnoid schizophrenia through polite suggestion of normal adaption strategies and ways to fit in.
I am sorry, I hallucinate, and am never sure how much of my reality is real. I do things that upset and scare people like
singing to myself
talking about innappropriate things because I do not know the difference between appropriate and inapproriate
not knowing the difference between emotional honesty and aggression
talking all the time, under my breath to myself, at myself, with myself
So now I because I live hear, and people couldn’t leave me alone, I get to feel uncomfortable for asking to be left alone, and not being left alone, and snapping.
I am accountable yes, it is my fault for snapping yes, but I just wish I knew when I was going to figure out a way out of this situation so I could do what is best for everyone and get out of here.
saying whatever comes into my head instantly because I no longer have an inner monologue
I need to get out of here, and to a place, by myself, before I lose my mind permanently.