Having to live my life, I am constantly confronted with thousands of things, that no one even notices, because I notice EVERYTHING. It is insane. Kind of like this jumble of images, this is a visual representation of the dizzying process that is my every day life, an intense focus on anything paid attention to, but otherwise complete blur of intensity, that makes you want to vomit, because it make you dizzy, like these images, this is close to how I see the world, when I am not calm. Close, but not as bad.
Tag: simulated hallucination
Okay, I am going to try to not to do the stupid thing now.
I wonder if anyone could ever love me sometimes, I hate myself so much, I try not to, but I do. Everyone seems so normal. They have their normal thoughts and say the right things, and I think about ruining my life and jumping into cars. Into and in front of…..
How is that helpful to anyone? How is that okay enough with anyone to accept.
You have to accept you first.
Why? I suck.
I hate myself, I just think of bad things all the time, and have to pretend I don’t.
No you don’t and no you don’t.
You know what. No, I don’t. My mother just said the President is on, and did not go into specifics about her views, which are moderate, she spoke of a human being with respect, I love her. Thank you, mom. I am sorry I pretended you didn’t exist. I love you.