The goal of this site is simple, to find kindness in the world, and establish connection through the act of clarity that comes with meditating on human connection and sobriety, peace, joy, and serenity.

This site is a tool to facilitate the act of seeing clearly, written by hands that used to serve misery.

Thank you, your compliment and reading this means the world to me, for explanation I have paranoid schizophrenia, narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar II-manic/depressive rapid cycling, depression, anxiety, hydrocepholus, narcissistic personality disorder suffering from alcoholism, drug addiction, alcoholic. with OCD and PTSD- was addicted to heroin, meth, crack, alcohol, cocaine, prescription pills. I am drug addict/alcoholic/dual diagnosis/ex-criminal/ex-homeless vagrant who is writing instead of committing crime on the street corners of this country or the voice of the drug epidemic screaming on here instead of tweaking and shooting heroin on a corner while holding a sign and waiting for my man.

Characters thus far



Damien de Soto

Rei Clearly

All characters are me, or my pen names, or my imaginary friends, or my split personalities, dramatized fictionalized, scape goats, captive in my mind.

Thank you for teaching me something-Variegated was not a word I knew, or admissions of a narcissist who is trying.



exhibiting different colors, especially as irregular patches or streaks.
“variegated yellow bricks”
(of a plant or foliage) having or consisting of leaves that are edged or patterned in a second color, especially white as well as green.
“the variegated form of philadelphus”

I am var·i·e·gat·ed

Spaced this way, as an admission

My admission that, though I am a narcissist

I do not know everything.

I am var·i·e·gat·ed

I am growing through admissions that like a plant, I am varied, growing and admitting that it is not weak to do so.

Thank you to WordPress for my continuation of a journey away from suicide.

Damien and Amanda.

A variegated soul in transition through photos, sound, expression and love.

I am growing in the sunlight of the love of this community that has responded so kindly to my honest admissions that I am an ***.



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